I’m not virtue signaling, but I cry

I’m not virtue signaling, but I cry
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May 30, 2020 – Avoidthemark.com

I swear I’m not virtue signaling with this post, but I feel like I need to preface it with that statement before I go any further.

This post comes from my heart. What I’m about to say is something I’ve seen many other people express publically in comments, and privately in emails and direct messages.

So I wanted to address it. Because I feel the same way.

This won’t be a long post.

Things are HARD

For the last few months, and especially more recently, every time I get on my knees to pray, I instantly begin crying.

It doesn’t matter what mood or state of mind I’m in before I reach out to our Father.

As soon as I call out to Him, I begin to cry.

With the bombardment of completely evil worldly activity we’ve been subjected to over the last few months, maybe this reaction is to be expected.

But it’s not my normal state of prayer.

It’s not my normal state of life.

I can’t help but to cry.

I cry for many reasons.

I cry for the state that the world is in. It just doesn’t seem “fair.”

I cry about what’s to come.

I cry because I feel very lonely in this battle against these enemies that are trying to destroy us.

I cry because my heart is broken for the younger generation that will never see a world with freedom and hope.

I cry for the older generation, who put so many years into trying to make a life within a system that they never knew was a lie.

I cry.

I cry because the person I love from the depths of my heart doesn’t want to accept what happening right now.

I cry because I can’t be with her through all of this.

I cry because I miss her from the depths of my being.

I cry.

I cry because I don’t even know the right way to pray in order to fix all of these things.

I cry because I don’t know if they’re supposed to be fixed. I really don’t know.

I cry while I write this, and I hope I edit it properly before publishing it. Because the tears are heavy.

I cry in the morning when I pray.

I cry at night when I pray.

I try to stay strong. I beg God for the strength that I need through all of this.

But I cry.

I hope I don’t regret writing this. I know I’m “supposed” to be strong. And I do feel God’s strength when I need it the most.

But when I call out to Him, I cry.

I don’t cry because I’m weak. I cry because I care.

And I feel like He is crying too.



5 thoughts on “I’m not virtue signaling, but I cry

  1. I feel you my brother. We are sad and distraught most of the time too. We get up and try to live a normal life and pretend the world isn’t falling apart. But we know the end is coming. We pray. We ask Jesus for strength. We will pray for you. Hang on to normal as much as you can. Remember who you are. Through this whole thing you must remember who you are. So many have forgotten who they are because of those stupid masks and all the brainwashing. You are still the same person you were 6 months ago. We ALL are if we care to remember. Jesus will not abandon us. He will not abandon you. You do not cry alone.

  2. Wow I can relate so much. I know where we are going next, is our true Home. The new Earth. But I can’t help but grieve and look at my two young children and wonder where this life will bring them. And be sad for the childhood they will not have. I just let reminding myself that the Lord knows better than I do, He knew all along I and my children and loved ones would go through. I think of walking through the valley of the shadow of death and fearing no evil. I pray I have that strength.

  3. Travis I’ve had several days and nights of random emotional moments like you are having, im right at your side through the holy spirit brother i just prayed for you.
    Read THESSALONIANS 4.13 through 5 i hope this gives you some peace and guides your prayers.
    It’s not easy watching your family and friends in denial of the Lord but it was meant to be, Gods has his plan and he wants all of his children eventually have faith brother be strong and remember this, he will leave behind the 144000 pure of men to minister after the wrath and through the tribulation and the bible says all 144000 return to heaven so this period will be a massive awakening and i can imagine that after the Rapture occurs , people will be awake real quick and if you believe in the lord you have instant protection from the enemy.
    God bless you everything will be alright ,enjoy The Pentecost this could be the time, look up and smile listen to some music the holy spirit has been talking to me through the radio playing songs with instant messages he will do this for you my friend.πŸ™πŸ’•πŸŒˆ

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